Fear always has been a giant impact on the world as we know it. Fear of losing a job, getting bad grades, fear of failure, being alone, losing a war, clowns, the dark, the Burger King guy; all of our fears will come out to play a role in our lives at one point or another. Perhaps the fear is caused by a traumatic experience we had as a child, or maybe this fear has simply always been without any memory of its birth. Fear can alter our way of thinking and cause us to make poor decisions out of fear. A typical example is the small child at night who has just watched a scary movie before bed and has a nightmare or can not sleep. Fear can drive us to do some pretty crazy things. I heard a story once of a woman who's daughter came home in the middle of the night from college to suprise her in the morning. The mother thought there was a burglar in her house and shot her daughter by mistake.
I, personally have some fears of my own that I have been trying to overcome. Though difficult, I highly recommend that you try to face your fears because you don't want your fear following you, weighing you down the rest of your life. I've been afraid of hospitals pretty much as long as I can remember. My grandfather, whom I never had the liberty to meet, was a diabetic and after a heart attack was sent to Oakwood. They misread his charts and gave him a direct injection of glucose. He passed away 3 hours later. Mistakes are always made; mistakes that change, alter, and take lives. However, I can not let my fear keep me from my family. When my uncle was sent to the hospital for kidney failure, I couldn't take it. Hhe had been in the hospital for about a week before the doctors could give us any exact information but we were told his chances were slim. I slept in the hostpital that entire week. I stayed there because I wasn't going to let my fears keep me away from my family. That is one of the best decisions I have ever made. If something bad had happened I never would have forgiven myself for staying at home while he faced one of the largest battles he's ever had to face. My family was pretty torn apart, and I had to stay strong and help them through it. He walked away the day after Easter that year. My uncle's heart had stopped beating and had started back up unassisted less than a minute after they called his time of death. My uncle is a walking miracle.
Fear keeps us from reaching what we want to accomplish. I strongly push you to overcome your fears because believe it or not a simple fear could keep you from having a great life. Instead of being afraid of failure or risking something, have a fear of fear. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and take a chance in the world to become all you've wanted to be and to do all you've ever wanted to do.
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
-Anne Frank
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Chocolate Eskimo Noodles
Though I usually try talking about my personal life in my blogs, something has really been on my mind lately and I feel that maybe, by me letting my walls down for a little while, I can help someone else. In July of 2007, my mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). This is an autoimmune caused disease in which the body's immune response attacks the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord). MS affects the ability of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord to communicate with each other. This can cause those with the disease to lose effectiveness of their cognitive thinking. My mother, is a brilliant woman and I've never realized how important she is to me until I've seen her in pain. My mother is in pain every day, suffers from memory loss, and has a hard time working out logical problems. She brings a smile to the face of anyone she meets and she would do anything to make someone feel welcome. There is no known cure for Multiple Sclerosis, however there are treatments ment to lessen the effects. Unfortunately, each patient is different and the process could take a rapid or slow pace based on simple genetics. A person with MS generally finds it difficult to speak the words they are thinking, have difficulty standing for long periods of time, and experience spasms on a frequent basis. Problems visually are likely to occur along with involuntary eye movements.
Not meaning to give you a medical lesson, I just would like people to know what my mother has been going through. I've realized through this experience, that life truly is more fragile that we would like to think. My mother was a state champ catcher for schoolcraft college, she was one of the most athletic people I could ever dream to know, and since her diagnosis with this disease, she has not been able to do as much as she would have been able to do. More than half of those with MS will end up in a wheelchair by the age of 40.
I'm telling you this simply because I have taken advantage of the gift of life. I have not only ignored my own desires but I regret not bonding with my parents sooner. Life throws curves our way, and it should be our job to retaliate in whatever way we can. Live life to it's fullest. I only wish that no one else could go through the difficulties that my mother has to go through. It's especially hard on her because she was one of the most brilliant minds I have ever come to meet and now she has difficulty remembering how to work the remote. She's an amazing person and a role model of mine.
I strongly encourage you to touch the hearts of as many people as you can. Go out and make someone smile at least three times a day and live like you were dying. Appreciate your parents, and appreciate the people who you might fight with, they're not as aweful as you would like to think.
"Those who brings sunshine to the lives of others can not keep it from themselves."
-James Barrie
Not meaning to give you a medical lesson, I just would like people to know what my mother has been going through. I've realized through this experience, that life truly is more fragile that we would like to think. My mother was a state champ catcher for schoolcraft college, she was one of the most athletic people I could ever dream to know, and since her diagnosis with this disease, she has not been able to do as much as she would have been able to do. More than half of those with MS will end up in a wheelchair by the age of 40.
I'm telling you this simply because I have taken advantage of the gift of life. I have not only ignored my own desires but I regret not bonding with my parents sooner. Life throws curves our way, and it should be our job to retaliate in whatever way we can. Live life to it's fullest. I only wish that no one else could go through the difficulties that my mother has to go through. It's especially hard on her because she was one of the most brilliant minds I have ever come to meet and now she has difficulty remembering how to work the remote. She's an amazing person and a role model of mine.
I strongly encourage you to touch the hearts of as many people as you can. Go out and make someone smile at least three times a day and live like you were dying. Appreciate your parents, and appreciate the people who you might fight with, they're not as aweful as you would like to think.
"Those who brings sunshine to the lives of others can not keep it from themselves."
-James Barrie
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Rubber Frogs and Power Lines
Everyone wants to avoid heartache. Nobody wants to feel the pain and depression that tags along with the possibility of a failed relationship. I’ve talked to a few people the last couple days and I’ve realized that one of the main problems that encircle us through our lives is the fear of being alone. I’m not going to dance around the fact that I, myself, have had my heart broken more than a few times. I’ve also been in a few emotionally abusive situations. The problem with love is that it comes with consequences that few seem to recognize and some tend to overlook the flaws in a person due to infatuation.
I personally know a few people who would do anything to have someone. The truth is, you can rely on friends your entire life but they would not fill the void of having a person to share everything with. A person to feel romantically connected to. To those people who find themselves lost, and even alone: Do not lose hope. I know these people have heard it over and over again. “You’ll find somebody, you’re a great person.”, or “I wish there was something more I could do for you, but don’t worry, the second you stop looking, she’ll find you.” The truth is, it can be extremely difficult to find someone who suits your personality. And an even larger fear of mine is that these people will end up settling for an abusive person because their fear of being alone will overwhelm them. You really aren’t alone. There’s someone out there right now who you are perfect for, you just have to have patience. All good things come to those that wait, and even if the waiting seems to go on forever, that’s only because you need more time to develop yourself as a person. Discover yourself, love yourself. In order to give love to anyone else, you must first have confidence in yourself. Another thing I’m concerned with is change. Embrace who you are, and don’t change yourself to better suit someone else. If they want you to change, they want someone other than who you really are. I know it’s difficult, and I know it gets lonely and some days it’s unbearable. Just because you need someone there for you, doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your individuality. A controlling relationship is not a real relationship.
Avoid such promises as “I promise I will never leave you”, truth is, a promise doesn’t really mean a thing anymore. People seem to take meaningless words and throw an “I promise you,” in front of it, and all of a sudden, you’re in love. Hollow words will not prove your love. Just because something sounds sweet or romantic, does not make it factual. Instead of “promising”, just show them you care. Instead of filling a person’s mind with words, show them you love them. Take them on a picnic, call just to tell them you were thinking about them, mail them a letter, send them a rose, paint them a picture, something. Anything. Sometimes, the simplest things can hit a person the hardest. Then you will never even have to say that you promise, they’ll just know. Love has always been a big issue for me, I’m afraid of commitment and I will be the first to admit it. However, I encourage everyone else, as well as myself, to take the risk on someone. Even if you have been hurt in the past. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and there’s always something good that comes out of a mistake. You can learn from a relationship that did not necessarily go according to plan, but that’s how relationships work. Each person is entitled to a choice, and even if you end up hurt in the end, you can continue to apply what went wrong or what you didn’t notice into a newer relationship. If you just sit around and you give up on love, you’re going to be a very miserable person. Everyone needs someone to go to. Everyone wants to get a self-esteem boost every once in awhile. So go ahead and try. Stop sitting around, reading blogs, and go try to better yourself as a person. Say “yes” to life. Make opportunities to just go somewhere and do something. As long as you get out of the house, and put yourself in a situation where you could meet someone, you will eventually find someone to love (whether that be a friend or a lover). You can find love in the most unassuming places.
I have so much more to say on this I just don't think this blog should be 3 pages long. If anyone needs any help or just someone to talk to, try messaging me on my facebook, which you can get through the right pannel on this page.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
I personally know a few people who would do anything to have someone. The truth is, you can rely on friends your entire life but they would not fill the void of having a person to share everything with. A person to feel romantically connected to. To those people who find themselves lost, and even alone: Do not lose hope. I know these people have heard it over and over again. “You’ll find somebody, you’re a great person.”, or “I wish there was something more I could do for you, but don’t worry, the second you stop looking, she’ll find you.” The truth is, it can be extremely difficult to find someone who suits your personality. And an even larger fear of mine is that these people will end up settling for an abusive person because their fear of being alone will overwhelm them. You really aren’t alone. There’s someone out there right now who you are perfect for, you just have to have patience. All good things come to those that wait, and even if the waiting seems to go on forever, that’s only because you need more time to develop yourself as a person. Discover yourself, love yourself. In order to give love to anyone else, you must first have confidence in yourself. Another thing I’m concerned with is change. Embrace who you are, and don’t change yourself to better suit someone else. If they want you to change, they want someone other than who you really are. I know it’s difficult, and I know it gets lonely and some days it’s unbearable. Just because you need someone there for you, doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your individuality. A controlling relationship is not a real relationship.
Avoid such promises as “I promise I will never leave you”, truth is, a promise doesn’t really mean a thing anymore. People seem to take meaningless words and throw an “I promise you,” in front of it, and all of a sudden, you’re in love. Hollow words will not prove your love. Just because something sounds sweet or romantic, does not make it factual. Instead of “promising”, just show them you care. Instead of filling a person’s mind with words, show them you love them. Take them on a picnic, call just to tell them you were thinking about them, mail them a letter, send them a rose, paint them a picture, something. Anything. Sometimes, the simplest things can hit a person the hardest. Then you will never even have to say that you promise, they’ll just know. Love has always been a big issue for me, I’m afraid of commitment and I will be the first to admit it. However, I encourage everyone else, as well as myself, to take the risk on someone. Even if you have been hurt in the past. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and there’s always something good that comes out of a mistake. You can learn from a relationship that did not necessarily go according to plan, but that’s how relationships work. Each person is entitled to a choice, and even if you end up hurt in the end, you can continue to apply what went wrong or what you didn’t notice into a newer relationship. If you just sit around and you give up on love, you’re going to be a very miserable person. Everyone needs someone to go to. Everyone wants to get a self-esteem boost every once in awhile. So go ahead and try. Stop sitting around, reading blogs, and go try to better yourself as a person. Say “yes” to life. Make opportunities to just go somewhere and do something. As long as you get out of the house, and put yourself in a situation where you could meet someone, you will eventually find someone to love (whether that be a friend or a lover). You can find love in the most unassuming places.
I have so much more to say on this I just don't think this blog should be 3 pages long. If anyone needs any help or just someone to talk to, try messaging me on my facebook, which you can get through the right pannel on this page.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
Monday, October 12, 2009
Peanut Brittle and Yorkshire Terriers
The tang of the spearmint gum turns from a pleasurable, mint treat to complete destruction. I wince as the gum slides slightly out of my mouth onto my chapped lips. One sudden pinch; a single jolt sends me out of my comfort zone and onto pain’s front porch. The taste that brought me so much pleasure has betrayed me as the flavor drills into the cuts of my lips. The muttering of my professor fades deeper and deeper until she is no longer audible, which does not really matter to me considering that my spearmint episode left me more awake than I wanted to be. The pain was not as bad as I made it out to seem, just the entrancing taste and smell actually gave me something to do besides listening about axons and reticular formations and I almost heard a part of the lecture when I was maliciously attacked by a piece of candy. God forbid I listen to whatever it is we're supposed to be learning about.
Psychology has always been something I’ve wanted to be a part of. Something I could relate to, if you will. Critical thinking has always been my forte, and with as many crazy people I’ve had to deal with over the years, it has seemed altogether fitting that I can relate to the insanity. I’ve always been that person that everyone can turn to; The one single human on earth that “understands”. I’m often mistaken for a person who overanalyzes and I’ve been told I “think too much”. I’ve even gotten the whole “live simply, or you’re going to end up miserable and crazy” speech. Truth is, most psychologists are crazy. Why, you ask? Because when you’ve spent your whole life surrounded by people who don’t make a lick of sense, you tend to have a slightly skewed way of thinking, and therefore you can understand the disturbed. You can relate to the disturbed. You become the disturbed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to run out and beat some old lady up or shoot up a building but I might do something like walk outside and lay down on the sidewalk in December with a rain coat on. YOU might say it’s crazy. I say, it’s what’s stopping me from going crazy (or turning into a zombie).
Sure, this might not seem like a lot of sense to anyone reading this, but I only feel that if I’m going to bother telling you how to live your life or what’s right and what’s wrong, I should let you know a little about myself. When you’re born and raised into a family with money, life doesn’t seem too bad. Life seems worth living. The sun is high in the sky and nobody can tell you that the world is cruel. Until you turn 9 and your mother loses her job, becomes depressed, you’re father’s company goes bankrupt, your adopted sister can’t make a good decision to save her life, and your head explodes. Or until you find out your mother is diagnosed with a fatal disease and your uncle has a brain tumor. Well, life sucks, my friends. That’s the cold hard truth. I’m not here to tell you everything will get better, or that you’ll get lucky and win the lottery. I’m here to tell you that life does throw some pretty heavy boulders in our way and we’ve just got to push through it. It can take is months, years, decades to finally overcome something that has hurt us or thrown us in the dirt, but we can not stop.
Truth is, I have had to deal with some things that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy (if I had a worst enemy… I don’t know, maybe the burger king guy). My mother suffers from Multiple Sclerosis (MS), my sister was adopted from a family who were major drug addicts and now has problems in school, my uncle is a joke and fired my father before Christmas due to “financial issues” (right before he hired his new son in law), and I’ve pretty much been beaten down by some people that I thought I could trust (figuratively and literally). If anyone has the liberty to tell you that life is difficult, I’m one of those people. However, I’m in school trying to be a better person. I’m trying to help myself to get out of this slump. My only advice for this post is that you should not lie down and let the rest of the world trample you. People are cruel, life hurts, but you have to keep on living it. Don’t lie in your bed and wish things would get better, make things get better. This was more of a venting post for me, but I truly hope that someone got something out of this.
"Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you, and live as though Heaven is on Earth. "
—Anonymous
Psychology has always been something I’ve wanted to be a part of. Something I could relate to, if you will. Critical thinking has always been my forte, and with as many crazy people I’ve had to deal with over the years, it has seemed altogether fitting that I can relate to the insanity. I’ve always been that person that everyone can turn to; The one single human on earth that “understands”. I’m often mistaken for a person who overanalyzes and I’ve been told I “think too much”. I’ve even gotten the whole “live simply, or you’re going to end up miserable and crazy” speech. Truth is, most psychologists are crazy. Why, you ask? Because when you’ve spent your whole life surrounded by people who don’t make a lick of sense, you tend to have a slightly skewed way of thinking, and therefore you can understand the disturbed. You can relate to the disturbed. You become the disturbed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to run out and beat some old lady up or shoot up a building but I might do something like walk outside and lay down on the sidewalk in December with a rain coat on. YOU might say it’s crazy. I say, it’s what’s stopping me from going crazy (or turning into a zombie).
Sure, this might not seem like a lot of sense to anyone reading this, but I only feel that if I’m going to bother telling you how to live your life or what’s right and what’s wrong, I should let you know a little about myself. When you’re born and raised into a family with money, life doesn’t seem too bad. Life seems worth living. The sun is high in the sky and nobody can tell you that the world is cruel. Until you turn 9 and your mother loses her job, becomes depressed, you’re father’s company goes bankrupt, your adopted sister can’t make a good decision to save her life, and your head explodes. Or until you find out your mother is diagnosed with a fatal disease and your uncle has a brain tumor. Well, life sucks, my friends. That’s the cold hard truth. I’m not here to tell you everything will get better, or that you’ll get lucky and win the lottery. I’m here to tell you that life does throw some pretty heavy boulders in our way and we’ve just got to push through it. It can take is months, years, decades to finally overcome something that has hurt us or thrown us in the dirt, but we can not stop.
Truth is, I have had to deal with some things that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy (if I had a worst enemy… I don’t know, maybe the burger king guy). My mother suffers from Multiple Sclerosis (MS), my sister was adopted from a family who were major drug addicts and now has problems in school, my uncle is a joke and fired my father before Christmas due to “financial issues” (right before he hired his new son in law), and I’ve pretty much been beaten down by some people that I thought I could trust (figuratively and literally). If anyone has the liberty to tell you that life is difficult, I’m one of those people. However, I’m in school trying to be a better person. I’m trying to help myself to get out of this slump. My only advice for this post is that you should not lie down and let the rest of the world trample you. People are cruel, life hurts, but you have to keep on living it. Don’t lie in your bed and wish things would get better, make things get better. This was more of a venting post for me, but I truly hope that someone got something out of this.
"Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you, and live as though Heaven is on Earth. "
—Anonymous
Friday, October 2, 2009
Inventing Pandora's Tennis Shoes
Rushing to work, hiking around campus, and studying your $200 book… let’s face it, our lives can get pretty overwhelming sometimes and probably what’s worse is that it isn’t going to get any better any time soon. One thing that I’ve been extremely concerned about the last couple of days has been my friends. Sure I’ve met new people and I have a good time with them, however it’s not easy to find people who click with you like the people you have already come to know and experience 4 plus years of your life with.
I can’t necessarily speak for everyone but when it comes to me, I do believe that if it wasn’t for the relationships that I’ve made in high school, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Those people have always been there to pick me up as I have been there to offer a hand to them. Now, of course I’m expecting distance may pose a threat here considering that 2 of my best friends are going to universities 2 plus hours away from me, regardless of the people still within driving distance being busy with school and work. This is expected and a bit of an overwhelming part of truly growing up. I’m not writing this to complain or anything, or to sound desperate. I’m merely saying that the people I adore and need in my life are making just as many new connections as I am, yet I hope we still stay close. It sometimes takes a bit of trial and error to find those certain people that make you feel like you’re worth something. I’ve found a group of people that make me feel like no matter what happens, I can count on them.
At my high school, I had been blessed with the absence of excluding social groups. Now, there were people who hung out with certain people more often than everyone else but nobody really put anyone else down. It was easy to be friendly with everyone and get someone to help you out if you needed it. I’m just kind of writing this for my own pleasure, to be completely honest with you. I just really care about the people who have gone out of their way to put a smile on my face and I couldn’t ask for a better group of friends. We’ve hardly got anything completely in common, yet for some reason we just click. We have a perfect balance and an established understanding of one another and I can truthfully say that I’d do anything for any one of them. Even when life tossed in a few curve balls we could always count on calling someone in the group up and the next thing I knew, we’d be hanging at the coffee house or mini golfing. I couldn’t ask for better friends and I’m sure that we won’t let distance tear us apart.
"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company."
- George Washington
I can’t necessarily speak for everyone but when it comes to me, I do believe that if it wasn’t for the relationships that I’ve made in high school, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Those people have always been there to pick me up as I have been there to offer a hand to them. Now, of course I’m expecting distance may pose a threat here considering that 2 of my best friends are going to universities 2 plus hours away from me, regardless of the people still within driving distance being busy with school and work. This is expected and a bit of an overwhelming part of truly growing up. I’m not writing this to complain or anything, or to sound desperate. I’m merely saying that the people I adore and need in my life are making just as many new connections as I am, yet I hope we still stay close. It sometimes takes a bit of trial and error to find those certain people that make you feel like you’re worth something. I’ve found a group of people that make me feel like no matter what happens, I can count on them.
At my high school, I had been blessed with the absence of excluding social groups. Now, there were people who hung out with certain people more often than everyone else but nobody really put anyone else down. It was easy to be friendly with everyone and get someone to help you out if you needed it. I’m just kind of writing this for my own pleasure, to be completely honest with you. I just really care about the people who have gone out of their way to put a smile on my face and I couldn’t ask for a better group of friends. We’ve hardly got anything completely in common, yet for some reason we just click. We have a perfect balance and an established understanding of one another and I can truthfully say that I’d do anything for any one of them. Even when life tossed in a few curve balls we could always count on calling someone in the group up and the next thing I knew, we’d be hanging at the coffee house or mini golfing. I couldn’t ask for better friends and I’m sure that we won’t let distance tear us apart.
"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company."
- George Washington
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