Biopsychosocial Killer Peas

Something I don’t understand and I don’t think I will ever understand is the mindset of those who act like someone they’re not. I don’t understand why people change who they are based on the group surrounding them. Some people pride themselves over what other people think of them and to me, the entire concept is ridiculous.

I’ve had people tell me countless times things such as, “I can’t tell him this, he’ll never talk to me again”, or things like “Yes, I’m upset, but I can’t act like it in front of her.” My question mainly lies within a person’s comfort with themselves. I, personally can speak upon the many people who lack self-esteem. And I’m referring to people who REALLY have low-self esteem, opposed to those who say things like “Gross, I’m so fat”, or “I hate my hair”, just for attention or compliments.

Though I don’t think highly of myself, I still don’t change my personality to better suit those around me. If I acted like someone who I am not, the friendships I make aren’t real. Those friendships, constructed out of lies, would not be a friendship of mine, but a friendship based on someone else’s personality. I don’t understand why it is so difficult for people to embrace who they are. If someone doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, they really aren’t worth talking to. If someone is intolerant of your lifestyle choices or they just flat out don’t like you, rather you tell the truth and let them know who you are instead of lying and pretending to be someone else.

There is a difference between adapting to a group or situation, and completely changing who you are. For example, depending on the person, I would change the topic of discussion, perhaps. (not who I am). To one person, I could talk about sports, while I would discuss music or fashion with another. But who I am doesn’t change. I offer support to everyone. I’m goofy and obnoxious with everyone, I would not change who I really am for any one group of friends or peoples. The only way I would ever change my actions would be in front of an authority figure, which is simply not the same situation.

My main point in this is that sometimes things get difficult. Things get thrown in our paths and we have to hang on to what we have at our essence. We can’t let a lost “friendship” effect who we truly are. We have to stop and realize that sometimes the EASY thing and the RIGHT thing aren’t always the SAME thing. If someone doesn’t appreciate you or enjoy your company, find someone who will. Hell, I’ll most likely enjoy your company. There, you’ve already found one person. Just go out there, be yourself and keep an opened mind and heart. The best friendships are those built upon truth, enjoyment, and acceptance.

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.  ~Raymond Hull

The Dynamic Titans of Avalanche Bay

I, personally, tend to be a person who likes having a schedule. I enjoy knowing what is going to happen instead of waiting until the last minute to make plans. Within my plans, I have room for spontaneity but I more or less like having a set agenda for my day or week or month. Within the last couple of weeks, I think I have expanded on a lesson that I have learned previously. I don't like not knowing, but some things are worth not knowing. I realize that one can not plan for the future.. not entirely, at least. This is something I have learned a long time ago, however I have not truly realized the extent of the lesson.

 I clearly always knew that some things in life just happen. Some things are impossible to plan for: a disease, an accident, a love, a friendship, ect. I knew you couldn't necessarily plan for everything, but I never realized that my lesson plays into deeper things. Nothing, as I have learned, is set in stone. You might think to yourself "Oh, I'm completely done, I'm never talking to her/him again.", but one thing that I have always taken advantage of is the ability to change. For some reason I never thought that other people could change. I know this is hypocritical and I know how to admit when I'm not listening to my own advice. People do change, as do situations. The ability to change is what alters our plans, sends us for a loop, or catches us off guard. Now, who's to say that this sudden change of plans isn't for the better? Without surprise, what kind of life would we have? Life would be boring, and dull, and in my opinion, not worth living. As much as I love structure, I need chaos to thrive. I need chaos to keep me on my toes. Chaos to keep structure. There needs to be a black to the white, a darkness to keep the light. Without the darkness, the light would not be. You need negative to show what is positive.

I usually get upset when I don't know the plan, yet when I get the plan I'm always up for alterations: A trip to the movies delightfully turns into a trip sledding, a planned dinner for three turns into dinner for twelve. Things that keep me interested, and happy. Alterations are not always necessarily a bad thing, I've learned that we need chaos as structure in our lives, and one without the other will never lead to a healthy life.

Ambitious Blue Dragons and Willow Trees

Though as I type this, I'm aching because I sprained my wrist snowboarding today, I feel that I've learned something valuable. Have I been interested in snowboarding ever in my life? No.. absolutely not. However, I enjoyed every minute of it (okay maybe not the banking my head off of a mound of snow). I actually found it to be fun.. which was truly and honestly surprising to me. If you don't know me, I'm fairly outgoing and I like to try different things..but snowboarding.. well.. needless to say, I don't particularly enjoy making a fool of myself in public (contrary to popular belief.. I understand the confusion considering I do partake in foolish evens daily). So let us evaluate the situation, so everyone has a good idea as to what transpired today:

1) obnoxious hunting hat [check]
2) up the hill [check]
3) down the hill [check]
4) bruised tail bone [check]
5) up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down the hill (etc.)[check]
6) overall damage: concussion, sprained wrist, torn apart knee, bruised tail bone [check]
7) wanting to go again [check]

NOW for my point, even though something may not appeal to you at first, or you're in fear of making a fool of yourself, do it anyway. Even though you're almost 100% convinced you will fail, just do it anyway. Whether that be skating, singing, snowboarding, writing, painting, going dancing *cough cough*, surfing, learning, anything..Take risks, make the most out of life, because what's the point of living if you don't make it worth while? Things pass by so quickly, and I realize that now more than anything. I wish I had made the most of things in my past. I beg of you to not make the same mistake. Sorry for the length of this blog and for the horrible grammar, it is difficult to type at the moment. (As I said, sprained wrist).

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

Andre Gide

Icebergs and Yoga Instructing Komodo Dragons

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, what if life hands you a mother diagnosed with a critical illness, two parents who are out of a job, a sister who doesn’t understand why she needs to do well in school, a lunatic ex-boyfriend, college finals, emotionally unstable friends, and a big heaping bagful of unnecessary stress? If you ask me, that lemonade will probably taste more like moose piss than anything else.

            Naturally, when my English professor told me that I would be required to write a blog, I completely froze. What do I know about more than anything else? What can I write about that will never be boring? I could write about my family, I could write about the politics in the world until the cows come home, but the one thing that stood out amongst all others was the opportunity to help someone else. Helping others is one of my favorite past times. And if you have not guessed, the first paragraph of this blog is not some fictional hurricane of disaster that I wrote up to over exaggerate and prove a point. The first paragraph is my life. Crazy right? Like I said ladies and gentlemen, moose piss.
            Now, I could sit here and type to you (the two people who read this *and that might be pushing it*) and make myself out to seem like a strongly motivated and persistent person. And I could tell you that through these obstacles I've never fallen. However, I refuse to lie to you. Life has thrown me its share of tragedy, as we all have experienced. Life has seemed dark at points, and I've even considered just giving up. Sometimes nothing seems better than laying in your bed all day, unable to welcome the day. But I simply could not do that. I sat down and saw all the bad things that were happening to me and I fell apart. However, sometimes you just need someone to pick up the pieces and put you back together. I've had the honor of having some very helpful and concerned friends who have all (you know who you are) tried to pick me up and dust me off. Without them, who knows where I would be right now. Because of them, my lemonade tastes more like one of those freckled lemonades from Red Robin and less like moose piss.
            Life has had its ups and downs for all of us, but one thing that I can say is never give up. When something bad happens to you just look back on a time when things were worse.. it makes the present seem bearable. And if you have not experienced anything as bad as the experience at hand just think, "In the future when I say I've gotten through worse, I'm talking about this right now." Get through it.. even if it involves your finances, your health, your family.. just keep trying. If you fall down and fail to get back up, you make yourself miserable, and everyone else around you miserable.
            Now, I know this sounds cliche', and I know you might disregard what I have said, but truly listen to me. I've been told that I am "the poster child for moving forward". And considering all that I have been through, I find this to be somewhat true. I've walked down some pretty destructive paths but I've always managed to keep walking even when it seemed impossible. When I've hit the ground, I crawled. Anything to move forward. At the time, if you're reading this and you've just gone through something horrible. I give you my dearest sympathies. But remember this, my sympathy and the sympathy of others is not what will make you move forward. Only you can keep walking, and only you can break through the darkness.


In place of my usual quote I'm putting a poem in my blog instead. I wrote this poem about 4 months ago and I just thought that it could strengthen my opinion to continue through the hardships that life goes hand in hand with. Without the struggle, the reward would seem meaningless. Allow your heart to fly.

Bound Angel

Eyes reaching towards the sky, he desires one single chance to fly.

His sunken heart beats out of time; he gains no comfort with the passing time.

“Soul, awaken. Rest no more. Allow my paltry heart to soar.”

His lament goes unheard and his wings remain bound. Not a single word anymore. Not a single sound.

Bruised and battered, his heart beats still. Racing, chasing, and longing to be filled.

With heavy eyes, his distinctiveness fades, alone and unheard of, in his own private grave.

He once longed to fly; he brought color to the plain. This world of hate and bitterness broke him down and made it fade.

Have strength; create waves in the sea of commonplace. Greet everyone with open arms and with your dreams keep pace.

-Sarah A. Randles

Fleece and Broken Bumble Bees

I'm a very forgetful person, and it can be pretty frustrating sometimes not not remember simple things like due dates. But one thing that I found amazing and I've always found somewhat interesting is exactly how much the brain is capable of. We can remember words to literally hundreds of songs, but we can't remember something as simple as what we ate for dinner 2 days ago. I've never truly understood this until we went over it in my psychology class. Through the process of encoding, we take in, remember, and eventually recall information we have learned.

Overload in Working Memory:

In order to avoid a memory overload, it is wise to not place excessive demands in at one time.

• Monitor the speed at which you take in information.
• Work slowly enough to allow sufficient time to retrieve meanings related to the information. Pause between valuable information.
• Work with 3-5 chunks of new information at one time.
• It would be better to break up information into sections or subsections. Trying to learn or memorize too many chunks of information moves beyond the capacity of your memory.
• Break larger pieces of information into smaller units.
• When reviewing, do not read an entire section of notes without stopping. Read a small section, and pause to make associations and check comprehension.
• Free up your working memory by ignoring intrusive thoughts.
• Daydreaming, stress, distractions, and general anxiety can occupy working memory space.
•  

Using Effective Strategies for Working Memories:

Understanding how you process information lays the foundation for learning how to use working memory effectively to become a more powerful learner.

• Limit the number of items and the speed at which you take in stimuli (Avoid Overloading)
• Create an interest and excitement in new information (discussing it with other students, sharing information with family or others who are unaware of it)
• Set learning goals when you study (intention to learn creates a stronger purpose with desired outcomes)
• Create and use associations to link together chunks of information (relate the new information to information you already know)
• Make a strong impression of new information, and practice retrieving that impression creating strong impressions (involves focusing your attention on the information so you can “take it in” as a vivid unit of information)
• Work with information to encode it in new ways (use multisensory learning strategies to learn new information and to encode it using the three main modalities)
• Give additional rehearsal attention to items in the middle of lists (primacy effect – the first or last item is easier to recall and recency effect- the items most recently practiced are easier to recall, therefore give additional attention to the items in the middle)
• Use self-quizzing and other techniques that provide feedback (test the accuracy and completeness of your understanding)
• Spread learning over several time periods (spaced practice)
• Rehearse frequently (include time where you study review new information and previously learned information from your text books)

So though the mind is a complex thing, there are ways we can overcome the obstacles we could potentially face while trying to learn.

Everybody needs his memories.  They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.  ~Saul Bellow

Aglets and Flying Sharks

Nowadays, people are too focused on a person's physical appearance. I know I'm being a hypocrite here because I can't walk out of the house without makeup on but I feel like people are too concerned with how they look. The media tends to portray "beauty" as skinny, flawless, and young. Beauty can be found anywhere not just in a person's physical attributes.

Skinny is not necessarily perfect. Ladies, not all men want a girl that they can literally see through, so don't be afraid to eat a bit of food. Some people don't truly know what beauty is. Beauty is found in the soul, and in the eyes of someone who wants to lend a hand to someone in need. Beauty is found in the eyes of a child who wants to learn. Beauty is different then "hot", and regardless, women need to stop being so obsessed with their physical appearance. Women are more prone to stress and depression. In my opinion, it is wrong for people to make beauty unobtainable. Beauty makes people forget the real purpose in their lives.. the real reason to work. Not for beauty or for vanity.. but for the well being of others and the well being of themselves. To go out in the world and change it in some way. To create something. To make the world a bit different in one way or another.

I, personally, have always had low self-esteem, however the older I get, and the more lessons I learn I realize that though I may not be "pretty" or what society deems as "pretty", my personality makes up for it. There are many girls who have low self-esteem, and they need to stop looking at the negative and look at what they DO have going for them. Beauty can be found in intelligence, or in a smiling face.

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." --Ashley Smith

Mufasa and Transforming Microwaves

People are all too concerned about what they could potentially receive. To give IS to receive. It does not matter if all you can give is a dollar, or a pat on the back, as long as you make an effort to give. Considering Christmas is right around the corner, there's no excuse to avoid giving. Sometimes the best thing you can give is a chance.. have a quarrel with an old friend? a family member? Why not use the holiday as an excuse to move beyond the boundaries you have to make a difference in their lives? This is the time of the year to make a change, for the better. Though it might hurt to not be able to give someone the world, sometimes it might be better to just make the world a bit brighter for them. Just make them smile may be the best thing they can ever get. Go out of your way and change a life. Or just make someone's life more enjoyable.

Its every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it. --Albert Einstein