Biopsychosocial Killer Peas

Something I don’t understand and I don’t think I will ever understand is the mindset of those who act like someone they’re not. I don’t understand why people change who they are based on the group surrounding them. Some people pride themselves over what other people think of them and to me, the entire concept is ridiculous.

I’ve had people tell me countless times things such as, “I can’t tell him this, he’ll never talk to me again”, or things like “Yes, I’m upset, but I can’t act like it in front of her.” My question mainly lies within a person’s comfort with themselves. I, personally can speak upon the many people who lack self-esteem. And I’m referring to people who REALLY have low-self esteem, opposed to those who say things like “Gross, I’m so fat”, or “I hate my hair”, just for attention or compliments.

Though I don’t think highly of myself, I still don’t change my personality to better suit those around me. If I acted like someone who I am not, the friendships I make aren’t real. Those friendships, constructed out of lies, would not be a friendship of mine, but a friendship based on someone else’s personality. I don’t understand why it is so difficult for people to embrace who they are. If someone doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, they really aren’t worth talking to. If someone is intolerant of your lifestyle choices or they just flat out don’t like you, rather you tell the truth and let them know who you are instead of lying and pretending to be someone else.

There is a difference between adapting to a group or situation, and completely changing who you are. For example, depending on the person, I would change the topic of discussion, perhaps. (not who I am). To one person, I could talk about sports, while I would discuss music or fashion with another. But who I am doesn’t change. I offer support to everyone. I’m goofy and obnoxious with everyone, I would not change who I really am for any one group of friends or peoples. The only way I would ever change my actions would be in front of an authority figure, which is simply not the same situation.

My main point in this is that sometimes things get difficult. Things get thrown in our paths and we have to hang on to what we have at our essence. We can’t let a lost “friendship” effect who we truly are. We have to stop and realize that sometimes the EASY thing and the RIGHT thing aren’t always the SAME thing. If someone doesn’t appreciate you or enjoy your company, find someone who will. Hell, I’ll most likely enjoy your company. There, you’ve already found one person. Just go out there, be yourself and keep an opened mind and heart. The best friendships are those built upon truth, enjoyment, and acceptance.

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.  ~Raymond Hull