Everyone needs some sort of an outlet and if, by chance, you do not know what that outlet is, I highly suggest you figure it out. Life, as we all know, can be stressful, and even seem bleak sometimes. But truly, whether it be a basketball, painting, drawing, music, poetry, or even something as simple as video games, we need these outlets to keep our sanity. If you fall down or if you are feeling low, you can always take your emotions and direct it towards something else in a benificial way. Aside from writing in this blog, I will admit to having multiple outlets including music and poetry, and I will also admit that sometimes I neglect my ability to use these outlets which leads to my feelings being directed in a negative way. If you can't find some way to get your emotions out safely, you could end up hurting someone's self esteem, getting someone angry with you, or even breaking someone's heart (Then THEY might need an outlet.. and you better hope it's not their fist destroying your face).
I've noticed that one of the leading causes for pain or arguments among friends, family members, lovers, or whoever else.. is more frequently caused by miscommunication rather than opposition or disagreement. Miscommunication is more likely a direct influence of pent up feelings and even perhaps, a longing to feel like someone cares. Some people feel alone, and even if they are fighting with someone or causing drama, they still feel like bad attention is still attention. Perhaps, if they exerted their emotions in a different way, they would less prone to outbursts and jumping to overanalyzed conclusions.
Someone once told me, "breaking a heart is easy.. mending it is the hard part". This statement to me, couldn't be any more true. People don't necessarily realize the transfer of energy and emotion between people. It's example time, ladies and gentlemen: You've just got home from a really rough week at work. You've been going to sleep at 1:30 every night and waking up at 6:30. Annoying parents letting their children run crazy through your building, obnoxious co-workers.. or maybe even you cut off the tip of your finger trying to cut some onions or tomatoes or what have you. You get home, you take off your shoes, and you collapse into your bed. Finally some peace. Just then, you get a phone call from your friend Susie. "So where have you been? I havn't heard from you in awhile, you seem busy." and, of course, like "anyone" would respond, you say.. or should I say yell "OH WOW, YEAH, BECAUSE I'VE JUST COMPLETELY JUMPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH, RIGHT? WHAT WAS STOPPING YOU FROM CALLING ME?!" Now, let's just stop and evaluate the situation: you're tired, your back hurts, you have a headache, you've lossed the tip of your
thumb trying to make someone a sandwhich.. it's easy to understand that you would be a harboring a little bit of hostility. However, if you perhaps took time out once a day or once every two days just to use that outlet, just to vent. You might have responded with an inclanation to be slightly more personable.
In conclusion, I'm asking for you to at least try to find your outlet.. and if you already know what your outlet is, exploit it for all that it's worth.. unless your outlet is drugs or alcohol.. then that would probably be a bad thing.. okay let me rephrase this: find a HEALTHY outlet... one that can benifit you or others in the long-run and use it as much as you can. The key to getting rid of unwanted stress could be as simple as plugging yourself in.
Tight-Rope Made of Ice
Sarah Randles
Looking like an acrobat, I balance on the ice.
So cold, that I don't mind my scarf cutting off my circulation.
My eyes sting as snowflakes dig into my irises.
My voyage to my destination, the snow covering my feet almost completely.
I break and I fall. The ice piercing sharp into my face.
My center of gravity is skewd and this balancing act is more than a struggle.
I long to taste the lies that lie on your lips. Like a poison, restricting my breath.
I try to look you in the eyes but your depth digs into me as I slip on your surface.
I can not hold myself together any longer. I'm being consumed by this false sense of reality.
I care not to stand any longer. Let me fall, and let the blades of tears rip down my face.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Mr. Bubbles and Troublesome Poison Ivy
I've noticed a fairly constant variable within my posts: hypocrisy. So many are quick to condemn others for the same faults the accuser is guilty of. This morning was, well... one of those mornings where I get the pleasure of seeing hypocrisy at it's fullest. Simple concept, when someone yells at you or tears you down.. why is it okay? Why is it alright for someone to break you down, but as soon as you stand up for yourself or critique you back, it's wrong? I've always had a hard time swallowing my pride, so it's natural for me to stand up for myself. Even when I know an argument will be avoided by biting my tongue, I find it difficult.
People are so quick to condemn others. People tend to throw people on trial before they even give a second thought to their intentions or mindset. I've noticed that people often criticize others only to then be guilty of doing the same things but in a different situation or in a related way. For example: sluts hating other sluts for being sluts.
Hypocrisy is possibly the only thing that I hate more than ignorance and if it were up to me, it wouldn't even exist. Hypocritical people are often running from something, or in denial over something they are doing. I try to not give people advice that I wouldn't take myself, however if I do, I admit to it. I'll say "I'm just as at fault with this, but I think you should stop (dot dot dot)". I will admit, with certain things it is difficult for me to take my own advice, however I try not to condemn someone for their decisions, I merely try to understand them. I try to let them make me their student and try to get them to help me better fit into their shoes. I've always found this to be the best way to go about things when trying to deal with a person who has the same faults as yourself. You might learn more from them. For example, I'm friends with a person who is particularly overly analytic. I happen to be guilty of the same fault, so when I tell him that he should not worry so much and he shouldn't over analyze, I not only give him that advice, but I give that advice to myself. I try, as well, to let things slide more and I try to not spend too much time thinking about certain things.
The best thing that you can do is take your own advice. Who would want to go to a depressant for help overcoming depression? Who would want to go to a hoarder for advice on cleaning out for a yard sale? It's common sense, people, when the questions are there, the answers could be staring you right in the face. It might take a person suffering for you to wake up to your own faults. It wouldn't be crazy for someone to start eating healthier after their brother died of a heart attack. Don't sit around and wait for something bad to happen, for you to wake up and fix your flaws. The time is now, stop being hypocritical and get out and make a change. Then once you've turned your life around, then is the best time to help others who need to overcome the same obstacle that you have. If I was an alcoholic struggling to quit drinking, I would rather take the advice of a recovered alcoholic, than an alcoholic. I'd think you would too.
Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Friendship," Essays, 1841
People are so quick to condemn others. People tend to throw people on trial before they even give a second thought to their intentions or mindset. I've noticed that people often criticize others only to then be guilty of doing the same things but in a different situation or in a related way. For example: sluts hating other sluts for being sluts.
Hypocrisy is possibly the only thing that I hate more than ignorance and if it were up to me, it wouldn't even exist. Hypocritical people are often running from something, or in denial over something they are doing. I try to not give people advice that I wouldn't take myself, however if I do, I admit to it. I'll say "I'm just as at fault with this, but I think you should stop (dot dot dot)". I will admit, with certain things it is difficult for me to take my own advice, however I try not to condemn someone for their decisions, I merely try to understand them. I try to let them make me their student and try to get them to help me better fit into their shoes. I've always found this to be the best way to go about things when trying to deal with a person who has the same faults as yourself. You might learn more from them. For example, I'm friends with a person who is particularly overly analytic. I happen to be guilty of the same fault, so when I tell him that he should not worry so much and he shouldn't over analyze, I not only give him that advice, but I give that advice to myself. I try, as well, to let things slide more and I try to not spend too much time thinking about certain things.
The best thing that you can do is take your own advice. Who would want to go to a depressant for help overcoming depression? Who would want to go to a hoarder for advice on cleaning out for a yard sale? It's common sense, people, when the questions are there, the answers could be staring you right in the face. It might take a person suffering for you to wake up to your own faults. It wouldn't be crazy for someone to start eating healthier after their brother died of a heart attack. Don't sit around and wait for something bad to happen, for you to wake up and fix your flaws. The time is now, stop being hypocritical and get out and make a change. Then once you've turned your life around, then is the best time to help others who need to overcome the same obstacle that you have. If I was an alcoholic struggling to quit drinking, I would rather take the advice of a recovered alcoholic, than an alcoholic. I'd think you would too.
Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Friendship," Essays, 1841
Monday, January 25, 2010
Baseball T's and Egyptian Cotton Sheets
One of the many things I will admit is that I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm not necessarily proud of it, and it has caused me my share of scars and bad memories. Some of us are too gullible, then some of us are too skeptical. It can be quite difficult to define love or to define true friendship. Sometimes, we blind ourselves to the flaws of others or the flaws of a relationship because of fear. We can not let fear rule our lives, but we can not completely ignore it. It's what tells us to question. It's what provokes our curiosity.
As we go through our busy lives filled with sports, careers, education, and MAYBE our share of leisure, we are faced with many different kinds of people. Cheerful people, cynical people, sarcastic people, cautious people.. the list is endless. One thing that we are prone to do when meeting someone, is to judge them. Never judge a person who you've never met. Someone who SEEMS to be happy and positive could really be cutting herself in her bedroom closet because she suffers from depression. Someone who seems to be quiet and careful could really be a hardcore partier and an alcoholic. You can never be too sure of the people you've just met. Sometimes, you can't be too sure of the people you've known your entire life.
As shocking as it may seem, you might not REALLY know a person, but know the shadow or mask in which the person hides behind. Some people act the way they do because of the people they are around. Some people put on a show for a particular group of people. One of the main things I have learned in the past couple of months is that we can not judge someone completely based on someone's life decisions. For example, if my best friend started smoking pot and drinking, I would be highly disappointed, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of me being their friend. You must know how to adapt to other people without changing who you are. If a person's personal life decisions start changing who they are, then it may be time to accept that that person isn't who you once knew. Sometimes it's less destructive if you just walk away. It might not always be the easiest thing in the world to do at the time, but later on you might realize that it was the best thing you could have done.
On the opposing side, some people are simply programmed to cause pain. Many people are only out for themselves. Now, naturally some of these people can slip through the cracks if they are good actors, however in most cases, people skip acting class. By simply thinking logically, you might avoid heartbreak later down the road. For example: If you meet someone who constantly beats you down for wearing certain things or eating certain foods, evidence points towards that person having controlling tendencies. People like this need to be avoided because they feed off the very fabric of who you are. They pick and drill at what defines you as a person until you are whittled into what they want you to be. Or, maybe your situation is a bit more simplistic. Perhaps, you just met a boy/girl who is ridiculously good looking. Among the thousands of other people trying to get with them, is you. The person in question clearly flirts with everyone that surrounds them, including yourself. Say, they ask you out. Perhaps with a situation such as this, you should view the moral character of the person instead of their looks. There might be someone somewhere else that would be completely perfect for you that you might pass up because of this failed relationship. Or in the worst case, you end up getting out of this failed relationship with your heart shattered too much to ever truly trust again.
Ignorance is one of the worst diseases, in my eyes. I'm not saying to over analyze every situation you go into, because I can speak on behalf of over analytic people when I say YOU WILL CAUSE YOURSELF MORE PAIN AND CONFUSION BY DOING SO. All I'm asking is this: Would it really hurt you to think things over more once or twice and getting some valid feedback before jumping into a situation or pursuing a relationship with someone? Even if it's not feedback from another person. Simply evaluate a situation by thinking about it before you make any crazy decisions. You must learn how to deem a person trustworthy, and once you know that they are, then don't be afraid to take risks. Take responsible risks. Don't jump into something if the greatest outcome is heartache.
As confusing as this may sound, it makes complete sense. In summary: we all must be critical thinkers. Ask questions to yourself or to the person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't be selfish, actually ask, and think, and learn. The best thing you can give someone is a chance. But if you know you can't trust that person, and if you allow yourself to be blinded to their lyings tendencies, don't let that person take advantage of you, because you just might let that one failed relationship define who you are. You might allow that one person to take the biggest piece of your heart that you might never get back.
As we go through our busy lives filled with sports, careers, education, and MAYBE our share of leisure, we are faced with many different kinds of people. Cheerful people, cynical people, sarcastic people, cautious people.. the list is endless. One thing that we are prone to do when meeting someone, is to judge them. Never judge a person who you've never met. Someone who SEEMS to be happy and positive could really be cutting herself in her bedroom closet because she suffers from depression. Someone who seems to be quiet and careful could really be a hardcore partier and an alcoholic. You can never be too sure of the people you've just met. Sometimes, you can't be too sure of the people you've known your entire life.
As shocking as it may seem, you might not REALLY know a person, but know the shadow or mask in which the person hides behind. Some people act the way they do because of the people they are around. Some people put on a show for a particular group of people. One of the main things I have learned in the past couple of months is that we can not judge someone completely based on someone's life decisions. For example, if my best friend started smoking pot and drinking, I would be highly disappointed, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of me being their friend. You must know how to adapt to other people without changing who you are. If a person's personal life decisions start changing who they are, then it may be time to accept that that person isn't who you once knew. Sometimes it's less destructive if you just walk away. It might not always be the easiest thing in the world to do at the time, but later on you might realize that it was the best thing you could have done.
On the opposing side, some people are simply programmed to cause pain. Many people are only out for themselves. Now, naturally some of these people can slip through the cracks if they are good actors, however in most cases, people skip acting class. By simply thinking logically, you might avoid heartbreak later down the road. For example: If you meet someone who constantly beats you down for wearing certain things or eating certain foods, evidence points towards that person having controlling tendencies. People like this need to be avoided because they feed off the very fabric of who you are. They pick and drill at what defines you as a person until you are whittled into what they want you to be. Or, maybe your situation is a bit more simplistic. Perhaps, you just met a boy/girl who is ridiculously good looking. Among the thousands of other people trying to get with them, is you. The person in question clearly flirts with everyone that surrounds them, including yourself. Say, they ask you out. Perhaps with a situation such as this, you should view the moral character of the person instead of their looks. There might be someone somewhere else that would be completely perfect for you that you might pass up because of this failed relationship. Or in the worst case, you end up getting out of this failed relationship with your heart shattered too much to ever truly trust again.
Ignorance is one of the worst diseases, in my eyes. I'm not saying to over analyze every situation you go into, because I can speak on behalf of over analytic people when I say YOU WILL CAUSE YOURSELF MORE PAIN AND CONFUSION BY DOING SO. All I'm asking is this: Would it really hurt you to think things over more once or twice and getting some valid feedback before jumping into a situation or pursuing a relationship with someone? Even if it's not feedback from another person. Simply evaluate a situation by thinking about it before you make any crazy decisions. You must learn how to deem a person trustworthy, and once you know that they are, then don't be afraid to take risks. Take responsible risks. Don't jump into something if the greatest outcome is heartache.
As confusing as this may sound, it makes complete sense. In summary: we all must be critical thinkers. Ask questions to yourself or to the person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't be selfish, actually ask, and think, and learn. The best thing you can give someone is a chance. But if you know you can't trust that person, and if you allow yourself to be blinded to their lyings tendencies, don't let that person take advantage of you, because you just might let that one failed relationship define who you are. You might allow that one person to take the biggest piece of your heart that you might never get back.
"There is no slavery but ignorance. Liberty is the child of intelligence."
~ Robert G. Ingersoll
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Biopsychosocial Killer Peas
Something I don’t understand and I don’t think I will ever understand is the mindset of those who act like someone they’re not. I don’t understand why people change who they are based on the group surrounding them. Some people pride themselves over what other people think of them and to me, the entire concept is ridiculous.
I’ve had people tell me countless times things such as, “I can’t tell him this, he’ll never talk to me again”, or things like “Yes, I’m upset, but I can’t act like it in front of her.” My question mainly lies within a person’s comfort with themselves. I, personally can speak upon the many people who lack self-esteem. And I’m referring to people who REALLY have low-self esteem, opposed to those who say things like “Gross, I’m so fat”, or “I hate my hair”, just for attention or compliments.
Though I don’t think highly of myself, I still don’t change my personality to better suit those around me. If I acted like someone who I am not, the friendships I make aren’t real. Those friendships, constructed out of lies, would not be a friendship of mine, but a friendship based on someone else’s personality. I don’t understand why it is so difficult for people to embrace who they are. If someone doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, they really aren’t worth talking to. If someone is intolerant of your lifestyle choices or they just flat out don’t like you, rather you tell the truth and let them know who you are instead of lying and pretending to be someone else.
There is a difference between adapting to a group or situation, and completely changing who you are. For example, depending on the person, I would change the topic of discussion, perhaps. (not who I am). To one person, I could talk about sports, while I would discuss music or fashion with another. But who I am doesn’t change. I offer support to everyone. I’m goofy and obnoxious with everyone, I would not change who I really am for any one group of friends or peoples. The only way I would ever change my actions would be in front of an authority figure, which is simply not the same situation.
My main point in this is that sometimes things get difficult. Things get thrown in our paths and we have to hang on to what we have at our essence. We can’t let a lost “friendship” effect who we truly are. We have to stop and realize that sometimes the EASY thing and the RIGHT thing aren’t always the SAME thing. If someone doesn’t appreciate you or enjoy your company, find someone who will. Hell, I’ll most likely enjoy your company. There, you’ve already found one person. Just go out there, be yourself and keep an opened mind and heart. The best friendships are those built upon truth, enjoyment, and acceptance.
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Dynamic Titans of Avalanche Bay
I, personally, tend to be a person who likes having a schedule. I enjoy knowing what is going to happen instead of waiting until the last minute to make plans. Within my plans, I have room for spontaneity but I more or less like having a set agenda for my day or week or month. Within the last couple of weeks, I think I have expanded on a lesson that I have learned previously. I don't like not knowing, but some things are worth not knowing. I realize that one can not plan for the future.. not entirely, at least. This is something I have learned a long time ago, however I have not truly realized the extent of the lesson.
I clearly always knew that some things in life just happen. Some things are impossible to plan for: a disease, an accident, a love, a friendship, ect. I knew you couldn't necessarily plan for everything, but I never realized that my lesson plays into deeper things. Nothing, as I have learned, is set in stone. You might think to yourself "Oh, I'm completely done, I'm never talking to her/him again.", but one thing that I have always taken advantage of is the ability to change. For some reason I never thought that other people could change. I know this is hypocritical and I know how to admit when I'm not listening to my own advice. People do change, as do situations. The ability to change is what alters our plans, sends us for a loop, or catches us off guard. Now, who's to say that this sudden change of plans isn't for the better? Without surprise, what kind of life would we have? Life would be boring, and dull, and in my opinion, not worth living. As much as I love structure, I need chaos to thrive. I need chaos to keep me on my toes. Chaos to keep structure. There needs to be a black to the white, a darkness to keep the light. Without the darkness, the light would not be. You need negative to show what is positive.
I usually get upset when I don't know the plan, yet when I get the plan I'm always up for alterations: A trip to the movies delightfully turns into a trip sledding, a planned dinner for three turns into dinner for twelve. Things that keep me interested, and happy. Alterations are not always necessarily a bad thing, I've learned that we need chaos as structure in our lives, and one without the other will never lead to a healthy life.
I clearly always knew that some things in life just happen. Some things are impossible to plan for: a disease, an accident, a love, a friendship, ect. I knew you couldn't necessarily plan for everything, but I never realized that my lesson plays into deeper things. Nothing, as I have learned, is set in stone. You might think to yourself "Oh, I'm completely done, I'm never talking to her/him again.", but one thing that I have always taken advantage of is the ability to change. For some reason I never thought that other people could change. I know this is hypocritical and I know how to admit when I'm not listening to my own advice. People do change, as do situations. The ability to change is what alters our plans, sends us for a loop, or catches us off guard. Now, who's to say that this sudden change of plans isn't for the better? Without surprise, what kind of life would we have? Life would be boring, and dull, and in my opinion, not worth living. As much as I love structure, I need chaos to thrive. I need chaos to keep me on my toes. Chaos to keep structure. There needs to be a black to the white, a darkness to keep the light. Without the darkness, the light would not be. You need negative to show what is positive.
I usually get upset when I don't know the plan, yet when I get the plan I'm always up for alterations: A trip to the movies delightfully turns into a trip sledding, a planned dinner for three turns into dinner for twelve. Things that keep me interested, and happy. Alterations are not always necessarily a bad thing, I've learned that we need chaos as structure in our lives, and one without the other will never lead to a healthy life.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Ambitious Blue Dragons and Willow Trees
Though as I type this, I'm aching because I sprained my wrist snowboarding today, I feel that I've learned something valuable. Have I been interested in snowboarding ever in my life? No.. absolutely not. However, I enjoyed every minute of it (okay maybe not the banking my head off of a mound of snow). I actually found it to be fun.. which was truly and honestly surprising to me. If you don't know me, I'm fairly outgoing and I like to try different things..but snowboarding.. well.. needless to say, I don't particularly enjoy making a fool of myself in public (contrary to popular belief.. I understand the confusion considering I do partake in foolish evens daily). So let us evaluate the situation, so everyone has a good idea as to what transpired today:
1) obnoxious hunting hat [check]
2) up the hill [check]
3) down the hill [check]
4) bruised tail bone [check]
5) up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down the hill (etc.)[check]
6) overall damage: concussion, sprained wrist, torn apart knee, bruised tail bone [check]
7) wanting to go again [check]
NOW for my point, even though something may not appeal to you at first, or you're in fear of making a fool of yourself, do it anyway. Even though you're almost 100% convinced you will fail, just do it anyway. Whether that be skating, singing, snowboarding, writing, painting, going dancing *cough cough*, surfing, learning, anything..Take risks, make the most out of life, because what's the point of living if you don't make it worth while? Things pass by so quickly, and I realize that now more than anything. I wish I had made the most of things in my past. I beg of you to not make the same mistake. Sorry for the length of this blog and for the horrible grammar, it is difficult to type at the moment. (As I said, sprained wrist).
1) obnoxious hunting hat [check]
2) up the hill [check]
3) down the hill [check]
4) bruised tail bone [check]
5) up the hill, down the hill, up the hill, down the hill (etc.)[check]
6) overall damage: concussion, sprained wrist, torn apart knee, bruised tail bone [check]
7) wanting to go again [check]
NOW for my point, even though something may not appeal to you at first, or you're in fear of making a fool of yourself, do it anyway. Even though you're almost 100% convinced you will fail, just do it anyway. Whether that be skating, singing, snowboarding, writing, painting, going dancing *cough cough*, surfing, learning, anything..Take risks, make the most out of life, because what's the point of living if you don't make it worth while? Things pass by so quickly, and I realize that now more than anything. I wish I had made the most of things in my past. I beg of you to not make the same mistake. Sorry for the length of this blog and for the horrible grammar, it is difficult to type at the moment. (As I said, sprained wrist).
| “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” | |
Andre Gide |
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