As we walk among our fellow species, it is only natural that we have emotion and feelings towards others. We judge, we hate, we love, we suspect, we make, we break, and we fight other people depending on the many different ranges of situations that we could be met with.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.", these recognizable lyrics (Nat King Cole's Nature Boy), has truly got me thinking. Now, I know what you're probably thinking: "Oh, here she goes again talking about love. Does this girl talk about anything else?". Well to answer your question that I have heard through my telepathy: Absolutely not. All I do talk about is love. Anyways, as I was saying.. How is it that we know we love someone? Is it the feeling you get in our stomach when some guy brings you flowers? Is it the feeling you get when some chick checks out your muscles ('cause we all know chicks dig guys with muscles *rolls eyes*). The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, love is not a feeling it is an ability. I don't think I'v ever heard wiser words spoken through the mouth of Steve Corell. ( I know, I'm feeling all 'quotey' today).
Love is not found in the feelings we get. The feelings we get may be a product of love but that doesn't necessarily make those feelings love. My own personal definition of love runs a bit deeper than butterflies. Love is the ability to look into someone's eyes and drown; Drown in their entire being. Love is the ability to find beauty in a flaw; to find purity in someone's downfalls. Love is not the ability to ignore, but the ability to understand and accept.
True fact: I have low self esteem, yet somehow, the people that really care make me feel legitimately good about myself. The people that really love almost make me forget about the things that nearly break my heart every day. Once you find people like that, it's almost impossible to not spread love to someone else. Once someone accepts you for who you really are, the easier it is to love. What you see as a flaw, someone might see as the best part of you, so don't count yourself out on the draw when things start getting tough.
Love is one of those things that I strongly feel we all need to survive (not thrive, survive). With love.. true accepting love, you can conquer even the largest obstacles. In order to open your heart, you must open your mind and your eyes.
You all knew it was coming:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Baseball T's and Egyptian Cotton Sheets
One of the many things I will admit is that I have a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm not necessarily proud of it, and it has caused me my share of scars and bad memories. Some of us are too gullible, then some of us are too skeptical. It can be quite difficult to define love or to define true friendship. Sometimes, we blind ourselves to the flaws of others or the flaws of a relationship because of fear. We can not let fear rule our lives, but we can not completely ignore it. It's what tells us to question. It's what provokes our curiosity.
As we go through our busy lives filled with sports, careers, education, and MAYBE our share of leisure, we are faced with many different kinds of people. Cheerful people, cynical people, sarcastic people, cautious people.. the list is endless. One thing that we are prone to do when meeting someone, is to judge them. Never judge a person who you've never met. Someone who SEEMS to be happy and positive could really be cutting herself in her bedroom closet because she suffers from depression. Someone who seems to be quiet and careful could really be a hardcore partier and an alcoholic. You can never be too sure of the people you've just met. Sometimes, you can't be too sure of the people you've known your entire life.
As shocking as it may seem, you might not REALLY know a person, but know the shadow or mask in which the person hides behind. Some people act the way they do because of the people they are around. Some people put on a show for a particular group of people. One of the main things I have learned in the past couple of months is that we can not judge someone completely based on someone's life decisions. For example, if my best friend started smoking pot and drinking, I would be highly disappointed, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of me being their friend. You must know how to adapt to other people without changing who you are. If a person's personal life decisions start changing who they are, then it may be time to accept that that person isn't who you once knew. Sometimes it's less destructive if you just walk away. It might not always be the easiest thing in the world to do at the time, but later on you might realize that it was the best thing you could have done.
On the opposing side, some people are simply programmed to cause pain. Many people are only out for themselves. Now, naturally some of these people can slip through the cracks if they are good actors, however in most cases, people skip acting class. By simply thinking logically, you might avoid heartbreak later down the road. For example: If you meet someone who constantly beats you down for wearing certain things or eating certain foods, evidence points towards that person having controlling tendencies. People like this need to be avoided because they feed off the very fabric of who you are. They pick and drill at what defines you as a person until you are whittled into what they want you to be. Or, maybe your situation is a bit more simplistic. Perhaps, you just met a boy/girl who is ridiculously good looking. Among the thousands of other people trying to get with them, is you. The person in question clearly flirts with everyone that surrounds them, including yourself. Say, they ask you out. Perhaps with a situation such as this, you should view the moral character of the person instead of their looks. There might be someone somewhere else that would be completely perfect for you that you might pass up because of this failed relationship. Or in the worst case, you end up getting out of this failed relationship with your heart shattered too much to ever truly trust again.
Ignorance is one of the worst diseases, in my eyes. I'm not saying to over analyze every situation you go into, because I can speak on behalf of over analytic people when I say YOU WILL CAUSE YOURSELF MORE PAIN AND CONFUSION BY DOING SO. All I'm asking is this: Would it really hurt you to think things over more once or twice and getting some valid feedback before jumping into a situation or pursuing a relationship with someone? Even if it's not feedback from another person. Simply evaluate a situation by thinking about it before you make any crazy decisions. You must learn how to deem a person trustworthy, and once you know that they are, then don't be afraid to take risks. Take responsible risks. Don't jump into something if the greatest outcome is heartache.
As confusing as this may sound, it makes complete sense. In summary: we all must be critical thinkers. Ask questions to yourself or to the person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't be selfish, actually ask, and think, and learn. The best thing you can give someone is a chance. But if you know you can't trust that person, and if you allow yourself to be blinded to their lyings tendencies, don't let that person take advantage of you, because you just might let that one failed relationship define who you are. You might allow that one person to take the biggest piece of your heart that you might never get back.
As we go through our busy lives filled with sports, careers, education, and MAYBE our share of leisure, we are faced with many different kinds of people. Cheerful people, cynical people, sarcastic people, cautious people.. the list is endless. One thing that we are prone to do when meeting someone, is to judge them. Never judge a person who you've never met. Someone who SEEMS to be happy and positive could really be cutting herself in her bedroom closet because she suffers from depression. Someone who seems to be quiet and careful could really be a hardcore partier and an alcoholic. You can never be too sure of the people you've just met. Sometimes, you can't be too sure of the people you've known your entire life.
As shocking as it may seem, you might not REALLY know a person, but know the shadow or mask in which the person hides behind. Some people act the way they do because of the people they are around. Some people put on a show for a particular group of people. One of the main things I have learned in the past couple of months is that we can not judge someone completely based on someone's life decisions. For example, if my best friend started smoking pot and drinking, I would be highly disappointed, but I wouldn't let that get in the way of me being their friend. You must know how to adapt to other people without changing who you are. If a person's personal life decisions start changing who they are, then it may be time to accept that that person isn't who you once knew. Sometimes it's less destructive if you just walk away. It might not always be the easiest thing in the world to do at the time, but later on you might realize that it was the best thing you could have done.
On the opposing side, some people are simply programmed to cause pain. Many people are only out for themselves. Now, naturally some of these people can slip through the cracks if they are good actors, however in most cases, people skip acting class. By simply thinking logically, you might avoid heartbreak later down the road. For example: If you meet someone who constantly beats you down for wearing certain things or eating certain foods, evidence points towards that person having controlling tendencies. People like this need to be avoided because they feed off the very fabric of who you are. They pick and drill at what defines you as a person until you are whittled into what they want you to be. Or, maybe your situation is a bit more simplistic. Perhaps, you just met a boy/girl who is ridiculously good looking. Among the thousands of other people trying to get with them, is you. The person in question clearly flirts with everyone that surrounds them, including yourself. Say, they ask you out. Perhaps with a situation such as this, you should view the moral character of the person instead of their looks. There might be someone somewhere else that would be completely perfect for you that you might pass up because of this failed relationship. Or in the worst case, you end up getting out of this failed relationship with your heart shattered too much to ever truly trust again.
Ignorance is one of the worst diseases, in my eyes. I'm not saying to over analyze every situation you go into, because I can speak on behalf of over analytic people when I say YOU WILL CAUSE YOURSELF MORE PAIN AND CONFUSION BY DOING SO. All I'm asking is this: Would it really hurt you to think things over more once or twice and getting some valid feedback before jumping into a situation or pursuing a relationship with someone? Even if it's not feedback from another person. Simply evaluate a situation by thinking about it before you make any crazy decisions. You must learn how to deem a person trustworthy, and once you know that they are, then don't be afraid to take risks. Take responsible risks. Don't jump into something if the greatest outcome is heartache.
As confusing as this may sound, it makes complete sense. In summary: we all must be critical thinkers. Ask questions to yourself or to the person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Don't be selfish, actually ask, and think, and learn. The best thing you can give someone is a chance. But if you know you can't trust that person, and if you allow yourself to be blinded to their lyings tendencies, don't let that person take advantage of you, because you just might let that one failed relationship define who you are. You might allow that one person to take the biggest piece of your heart that you might never get back.
"There is no slavery but ignorance. Liberty is the child of intelligence."
~ Robert G. Ingersoll
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Rubber Frogs and Power Lines
Everyone wants to avoid heartache. Nobody wants to feel the pain and depression that tags along with the possibility of a failed relationship. I’ve talked to a few people the last couple days and I’ve realized that one of the main problems that encircle us through our lives is the fear of being alone. I’m not going to dance around the fact that I, myself, have had my heart broken more than a few times. I’ve also been in a few emotionally abusive situations. The problem with love is that it comes with consequences that few seem to recognize and some tend to overlook the flaws in a person due to infatuation.
I personally know a few people who would do anything to have someone. The truth is, you can rely on friends your entire life but they would not fill the void of having a person to share everything with. A person to feel romantically connected to. To those people who find themselves lost, and even alone: Do not lose hope. I know these people have heard it over and over again. “You’ll find somebody, you’re a great person.”, or “I wish there was something more I could do for you, but don’t worry, the second you stop looking, she’ll find you.” The truth is, it can be extremely difficult to find someone who suits your personality. And an even larger fear of mine is that these people will end up settling for an abusive person because their fear of being alone will overwhelm them. You really aren’t alone. There’s someone out there right now who you are perfect for, you just have to have patience. All good things come to those that wait, and even if the waiting seems to go on forever, that’s only because you need more time to develop yourself as a person. Discover yourself, love yourself. In order to give love to anyone else, you must first have confidence in yourself. Another thing I’m concerned with is change. Embrace who you are, and don’t change yourself to better suit someone else. If they want you to change, they want someone other than who you really are. I know it’s difficult, and I know it gets lonely and some days it’s unbearable. Just because you need someone there for you, doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your individuality. A controlling relationship is not a real relationship.
Avoid such promises as “I promise I will never leave you”, truth is, a promise doesn’t really mean a thing anymore. People seem to take meaningless words and throw an “I promise you,” in front of it, and all of a sudden, you’re in love. Hollow words will not prove your love. Just because something sounds sweet or romantic, does not make it factual. Instead of “promising”, just show them you care. Instead of filling a person’s mind with words, show them you love them. Take them on a picnic, call just to tell them you were thinking about them, mail them a letter, send them a rose, paint them a picture, something. Anything. Sometimes, the simplest things can hit a person the hardest. Then you will never even have to say that you promise, they’ll just know. Love has always been a big issue for me, I’m afraid of commitment and I will be the first to admit it. However, I encourage everyone else, as well as myself, to take the risk on someone. Even if you have been hurt in the past. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and there’s always something good that comes out of a mistake. You can learn from a relationship that did not necessarily go according to plan, but that’s how relationships work. Each person is entitled to a choice, and even if you end up hurt in the end, you can continue to apply what went wrong or what you didn’t notice into a newer relationship. If you just sit around and you give up on love, you’re going to be a very miserable person. Everyone needs someone to go to. Everyone wants to get a self-esteem boost every once in awhile. So go ahead and try. Stop sitting around, reading blogs, and go try to better yourself as a person. Say “yes” to life. Make opportunities to just go somewhere and do something. As long as you get out of the house, and put yourself in a situation where you could meet someone, you will eventually find someone to love (whether that be a friend or a lover). You can find love in the most unassuming places.
I have so much more to say on this I just don't think this blog should be 3 pages long. If anyone needs any help or just someone to talk to, try messaging me on my facebook, which you can get through the right pannel on this page.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
I personally know a few people who would do anything to have someone. The truth is, you can rely on friends your entire life but they would not fill the void of having a person to share everything with. A person to feel romantically connected to. To those people who find themselves lost, and even alone: Do not lose hope. I know these people have heard it over and over again. “You’ll find somebody, you’re a great person.”, or “I wish there was something more I could do for you, but don’t worry, the second you stop looking, she’ll find you.” The truth is, it can be extremely difficult to find someone who suits your personality. And an even larger fear of mine is that these people will end up settling for an abusive person because their fear of being alone will overwhelm them. You really aren’t alone. There’s someone out there right now who you are perfect for, you just have to have patience. All good things come to those that wait, and even if the waiting seems to go on forever, that’s only because you need more time to develop yourself as a person. Discover yourself, love yourself. In order to give love to anyone else, you must first have confidence in yourself. Another thing I’m concerned with is change. Embrace who you are, and don’t change yourself to better suit someone else. If they want you to change, they want someone other than who you really are. I know it’s difficult, and I know it gets lonely and some days it’s unbearable. Just because you need someone there for you, doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your individuality. A controlling relationship is not a real relationship.
Avoid such promises as “I promise I will never leave you”, truth is, a promise doesn’t really mean a thing anymore. People seem to take meaningless words and throw an “I promise you,” in front of it, and all of a sudden, you’re in love. Hollow words will not prove your love. Just because something sounds sweet or romantic, does not make it factual. Instead of “promising”, just show them you care. Instead of filling a person’s mind with words, show them you love them. Take them on a picnic, call just to tell them you were thinking about them, mail them a letter, send them a rose, paint them a picture, something. Anything. Sometimes, the simplest things can hit a person the hardest. Then you will never even have to say that you promise, they’ll just know. Love has always been a big issue for me, I’m afraid of commitment and I will be the first to admit it. However, I encourage everyone else, as well as myself, to take the risk on someone. Even if you have been hurt in the past. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and there’s always something good that comes out of a mistake. You can learn from a relationship that did not necessarily go according to plan, but that’s how relationships work. Each person is entitled to a choice, and even if you end up hurt in the end, you can continue to apply what went wrong or what you didn’t notice into a newer relationship. If you just sit around and you give up on love, you’re going to be a very miserable person. Everyone needs someone to go to. Everyone wants to get a self-esteem boost every once in awhile. So go ahead and try. Stop sitting around, reading blogs, and go try to better yourself as a person. Say “yes” to life. Make opportunities to just go somewhere and do something. As long as you get out of the house, and put yourself in a situation where you could meet someone, you will eventually find someone to love (whether that be a friend or a lover). You can find love in the most unassuming places.
I have so much more to say on this I just don't think this blog should be 3 pages long. If anyone needs any help or just someone to talk to, try messaging me on my facebook, which you can get through the right pannel on this page.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8
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